True, soulful and authentic friendships are a gift. A gift we are all worthy to have and a gift we all can have if we desire it.
Because I had a very independent childhood, I have had an independent adulthood. Until I couldn’t handle what that extreme independence resulted in, which was loneliness, isolation and a lack of human emotional intimacy.
All through my twenties, I was convinced that it was easier to do things “independently” because others would “slow me down”, “not do it right”…or most importantly, potentially hurt me. So I worked hard at keeping my walls up to protect my heart.
But our souls crave connection, and after starving my soul for thirty years, I couldn’t take it any more. I needed to have human connection. And with that decision to open my heart and trust people, I was given the gift of a husband who loved me just as I was (which was pretty much a train wreck at that time). Learning to trust and love someone with all my heart and soul, took some time but along the way he also became my best friend. And just when I thought I had all of the human connection a girl could need, I was given the gift of a best girlfriend—aka my Sisty—Kristin.
Before I jump into this story, I want to acknowledge how when we open our hearts to things that are good for us (even though they scare us), we often receive even more then our heart’s desire. In this case, I had a wonderful man who loved me and now this amazing friend who would become my lifelong sister from another mister!
So Kristin and I met online…via Instagram! We instantly connected and started a long distance friendship via the Voxer voice messaging app as she was in New Jersey and I was in Colorado. While our specific circumstances often varied, the emotions, stretching and growth opportunities we were experiencing in those circumstances almost always paralleled so we were able to encourage one another and share perspective with each other. She was the first person, other than my husband at the time, that I was able to share my hopes, dreams, and vulnerabilities with.
Our long distance friendship continued for almost three years, with only one in-person interaction (a quick lunch) when we both ended up in Central Florida at the same time. We honestly, never thought we would end up in the same city together until both our marriages came to end and she moved out to Colorado and we became roommates. Neither one of us ever saw this coming, but it was one of the biggest gifts of our friendship. Spending that quality of time with someone who knows you and loves you unconditionally is priceless. This photo was taken exactly a year ago…we still can’t believe this was our reality at the time.
You can have this kind of friendship too!
- Desire it in your heart
- Let go of friendships that are not bringing out the best in you and that aren’t trustworthy
- Face your fears about trusting and loving others so you have the capacity to have an intimate, loving and trusting friendship
- Be patient. Timing is everything. If you desire, it will come. Don’t settle because you’re afraid it won’t come. It will, I promise!
Some of you might have amazing friendships already. To celebrate the special friends in your life, send them a message or call them today to tell them how much you love and appreciate them!